


No time to wait

by WatchforWitches



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: 118, Episode Related, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Spoilers, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27897967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches
Summary: He won't feel that helpless again, not with her, and hopefully not with any of them. He was going to step up and help, and he was going to take control of his lifeOR Fjord has feelings to reflect on with all that's happened.
Relationships: Fjord/Jester Lavorre
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	No time to wait

**Author's Note:**

> This work contains spoilers for episode 118 of Critical Role, read at your own risk! Enjoy!

Everything was coming to a head very quickly, it seemed. 

Fjord sat silently, replaying the days events in his head. The statues, the centre, and Jester being in the middle of it all. The fear he felt, the helplessness as he watched her, feeling as paralyzed as she was. The fact that she'd lost nearly 5 years of her life? It was all too much. 

Glancing across to her, Jester seems okay, working with Beau on a message. But she'd been scared, he knew, she was just a very talented woman who put everyone before herself. Fjord knew someone had to put Jester first for her, if she wouldn't herself. 

Their lives had become something totally unrecognizable from the beginning of their time together. In every aspect they had all changed, from even a couple of weeks past. He recalls the conversation with Beau at Travelercon, discussing his feelings. He supposes he's always been a little transparent. 

But it's so different now. Even just back then he had managed to reason to himself that everything was up in the air, and who knows what the future would hold? For him, or her or any of them really. But it was becoming painstakingly clear that their future was more dangerous than anticipated, with everyday feeling like they are approaching their possible demise. It wasn't a time for squandered thinking, for wasting time on the what ifs and the questions. Fjord wanted to be happy and to be safe, and he needs that for Jester too, especially now, knowing how fragile everything feels.

He won't feel that helpless again, not with her, and hopefully not with any of them. He was going to step up and help, and he was going to take control of his life. 

He had meant what he told Jester before, his unwillingness to meet his future until his past was dealt with. There were things in his way that were making it difficult to plan with a clear conscience. And before today, he would have stuck to this plan, these ideas. But after all that? He was beginning to realize that every moment he spent living in the past, he lost his present, he lost the ability to carve that future he wanted so badly. The future he wanted had Jester in it, and he had been willing to bury his feelings for her, had been for so long now it was just second nature. But he wasn't going to let her slip, not now, and not again. He needed her to know he was here.

Starting with this. 

Jester's door was just an average wooden door, but for some reason tonight it seemed extra intimidating. Fjord was not a smooth man by any means, he'd never been in a real relationship, and he might be taking a chance that could blow up in his face. 

But he had to try. If nothing else then to know that he told her, and that he promised to not let her down again like he had out there today. He was going to keep that promise to her mother, one way or another. 

Jester was beautiful, obviously, even with her detailed outter layers tossed aside, she was so beautiful it almost hurt him. When he looked at her, all he could think of was the fear he'd felt watching her today, the way he'd felt like a failure to himself. Jester Lavorre certainly did not need anyone to look out for her, but a promise was a promise, and it was just his nature to look after the people he cared for. Jester had managed, in a very efficient manner, to worm her way into his heart. The seeds had been planted for a long time, and it was just a matter of waiting for those seeds to grow and become something else. 

And maybe this was their something else. 

"I care very much for you," he admitted, words whooshing out of him in a breath. He saw the surprise in her face, the way her eyes widened just that little bit. This wasn't even the new information, how had she not known? All this time?

"Really?" And her voice is so small, so much disbelief in her tone. 

He feels it like a slam to the gut, because of course he cared for her, of course. He had for a long time, had she truly been blindsided by this information? Had he not conveyed it well enough? He takes a breath, unsure what to say, unsure what to do.

"Is it because I have chiseled cheekbones now?" She asks, voice coming stronger, even if her eyes looked suspiciously glassy.

"It's the longer horns," he jokes back, tone missing _joking_ by a mile, "Gives you an intimidating look." 

Her laugh is what settles it, makes his mind up for him. He had come here with a plan- half formed as it was it was still a plan. And weren't all his plans half formed at best anyways? Sometimes they worked out for him. He takes her by the hands, and pulls her closer, needing for her to be closer, in that moment. She looks up at him with that surprised look again. He thinks back to the time underwater. How he'd heard from a not so subtle Nott that his act of saving her was also her first kiss. It had caused him several feelings back then, but now feels like a do over, an actual first kiss, where she could talk to him, see him, feel him there with her. "Can I kiss you?" He asks, voice soft. He'd wanted to for so long he forgot what it was like for the idea to make him nervous in a bad way. He was still nervous, but it felt good, it felt right to have this with her, in this moment. 

She lets out a laughing breath, watching him with an unbridled wonder, before she's nodding her head softly. 

He makes it good, he has to. He needs to erase the cold of their first kiss, the cold of the world around them right now. Right then and there, when its just the two of them, he makes it good. Her jaw is soft in his hands, as he pulls her closer to him, brushing a thumb on her cheek before they are kissing. Her lips are soft against his, moving against him for what feels like a mere second before she is pulling back. Fjord hadn't kissed many people in his life, but this one was certainly the best. He was sure, heart beating wildly, his stomach in his throat, that it was the best. She looks up at him with a smile, and Fjord would go to wars for a smile like that from her. To have been the cause of it was something so important, this precipice he'd been standing on for too long finally conquered, in this small first step. 

He says, something, he's sure. Some sentiment of not wanting her to throw herself away for this thing, this heroic adventure. He hopes it makes sense, seeing as he is literally tongue tied watching the blush creep onto her face, sure that his own is in a similar state. 

Kissing, as Jester had said, was more fun like this. The drowning hopefully drowned out now, this new first kiss, this fragile beautiful one in it's place. 

"I don't know what to do with myself anymore," she admits, voice silly with joy, shoulders coming up to brush at her ears almost. 

He moves a strand of stray hair that fell on her face back in place, smoothing it back behind her horns. "I've wanted to do it for a while," he tells her, because she deserves this truth too, "I'm kind of a big coward." He admits, thinking back on all the times he glanced her way over meals, or on nights out and just _wished_.

"No Fjord, you're very brave," she's quick to assure him, smile still glowing. 

He wants to argue, tell her " _No I'm not all that brave_ " or " _Most of it's an act_ " or " _Jester honestly I am terrified of this, of what you make me feel, I've never felt this way before_ " but there has been enough truths for one night, he thinks, before playing off a silly joke, agreeing with her assessment. If she wanted to think he was brave, he was absolutely not going to stop her. 

He says goodnight, and just like that in a flash he's back in his room. It's the same as it had been when he'd last been here, nothing out of place, but it felt different. Or maybe just everything felt different now, having kissed the woman he'd spent nearly a year falling for. The slow descent to the now actual fall, he'd felt everything was coming to a head, and it felt like a good thing. He hoped they could have this good thing, in the midst of all the other terrifying ones. 

Maybe they deserved this soft thing between them, maybe Fjord could believe it was something he deserved as much as Jester. His feelings had been a messy place for him, ever since he was that little boy in the orphanage, feelings had their time and place but they were to be utilized, weaponized. Feelings had gotten him what he needed, what he wanted, he had become a master of deceit in feelings. 

Until these ones. These real feelings and real consequences. They were getting to the real stuff, and he'd made the choice to not leave his feelings waiting for some unwritten future, not anymore. If anyone deserved his transparency, his honesty, it was Jester. He still felt their kiss in his lips. 

He wouldn't be getting much sleep, he knew, as the kiss played over and over, the butterflies in his stomach a raucous thing. He hadn't known thats was a real thing, and maybe it was the butterflies, or the linger of their kiss, but Fjord felt a hope rise in him he hadn't felt in a long time. The kind of hope that he once thought lost in this frozen tundra of awful events and encounters. But maybe hope was okay, and surely this thing between them was more than okay, it was for him. So he let himself feel happy and hopeful, as he watched the shadows on his ceiling all night, thinking of Jester the whole time. 

**Author's Note:**

> I need you guys to know I yelled and started jumping around my kitchen when this kiss happened. These two were my first campaign 2 ship and I honestly thought it was a pipe dream, never doubt Laura Bailey!! She got her husband to rp romance, and we love to see it. I hope you guys enjoy, I plan to write more fjorjester stuff. 
> 
> ((Now if BeauYasha could happen that would also be nice, timing needs to be right I know but !!))


End file.
